Emotions

Why we should value our emotions more and how we can manage them healthily

Marion Müller, 10.08.2023

Have you ever been on a train and read something funny and didn't really dare to laugh out loud? Or were you completely nervous during an exam or before an important interview and tried to push the nervousness away only to make it fight back stronger? Why do we hide our emotions so often in our culture? They are an essential part of our human experience and play an important role in our daily (survival) life. Emotions are not only an expression of our emotional state, but also help us to connect with our environment and to react appropriately to different situations. Nevertheless, they are often not welcomed in public or sometimes even in private, especially when they are unpleasant. As a result, we often suppress our emotions. However, this can have unhealthy consequences. In this blog post, we'll look at the importance of emotions, their beneficial functions, and the consequences of suppressing emotions. We'll also talk about how to learn to regulate emotions healthily without suppressing them.

The importance of emotions
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Emotions play a crucial role in how we perceive the world around us and how we understand ourselves. They serve as important signals that make us aware of our needs and the needs of others. For example, the emotion “fear” helps us recognize potential dangers and take protective measures, while “joy” connects us with others and promotes positive experiences. Emotions add meaning to our experiences and promote social interactions and interpersonal relationships.

How emotions benefit us
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decisionmaking:
Emotions play an important role in decision making. Research shows that emotions help reduce the complexity of information and help us prioritize options [1]. They are also an indicator of whether a decision is in line with our values and goals.

Social connections:
Emotions are critical to building and maintaining social relationships. By expressing emotions, we can communicate our needs and feelings to others and develop empathy, which leads to deeper understanding and stronger commitment.

mental health:
Emotional intelligence, which includes awareness, regulation, and expression of emotions, is associated with better mental health. Allowing and processing emotions can help reduce stress and manage psychological stress.

The consequences of suppressing our emotions
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Suppressing emotions involves not expressing your feelings or withholding them internally. This can have serious consequences:

Psychological stress:
Suppressing emotions can lead to internal stress because the repressed feelings are simmering within and are not processed adequately. Sometimes they even get stronger as a result of suppression. This can lead to anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues.

Physical effects:
Emotions also have a physical component. Suppressing emotions can lead to muscle tension, headaches, and other physical symptoms [5]. It can also impair the immune system and increase the risk of health problems.

Social distancing:
When emotions are suppressed, interpersonal relationships can be affected. Other people might have difficulty understanding the person's needs and feelings, which can lead to social isolation.

Suppress emotions versus regulate them
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Suppressing emotions refers to consciously not expressing them or hiding them internally. This can happen as a result of social norms, cultural expectations, or personal beliefs. However, it is important to understand that suppressing emotions is not the same as regulating them.

Emotion regulation refers to the ability to recognize, accept, and deal with emotions in a healthy way. It doesn't involve hiding or denying emotions, but learning strategies to deal with them appropriately. This can be achieved through mindfulness, self-reflection, and learning healthy coping mechanisms. Here are some strategies that can help regulate emotions in a positive and constructive way:

mindfulness:
Practice mindfulness to be aware of your emotions without judging or suppressing them. This allows you to explore your feelings in a safe space and better understand what triggers them. Specifically, you could do a body scan or simply breathe mindfully if you feel upset or anxious. You can read more tips in the mindfulness blog post 🡪 link.

Emotional self-reflection:
Behind every emotion is a need that would be appreciated. Emotions such as fear, envy or anger, which are perceived as negative, are not bad per se, but they want to make you or your environment aware of a need of yours. It is then often necessary to try to perceive this need and, if possible, satisfy or regulate it. Take time to reflect on yourself and identify the underlying reasons for your emotions. Ask yourself why you're feeling this way and whether your emotions are responding appropriately to the situation. Writing down your thoughts might help you.

Develop emotional intelligence:
Strengthen your capacity for emotional intelligence by putting yourself in the perspective of other people and understanding their feelings. This helps you to be more empathetic and understanding. Ask your counterpart how he/she feels and what his/her thoughts are.

Healthy coping mechanisms:
Identify healthy coping mechanisms that help you deal with strong emotions. This includes, for example, physical activity, creative forms of expression, listening to music, meditation or talking with familiar people. If the emotions are very strong, you can also activate your senses to find your way back to the present moment. This can be achieved with skills such as spicy chewing gum or intense smells. See the following link for a list of skills for more inspiration: https://stress-skills.de/skills-liste.

communications:
Talk openly about your emotions and needs with others, whether with friends, family, or a therapist. Open communication can help get rid of stressful emotions and find support. You can find more tips for open and non-violent communication, which you can also use in conflict situations, in this blog post 🡪 link.

Set limits:
Learn to set healthy limits and distance yourself from situations or people that negatively affect your emotions.

Emotional self-care:
Take time for self-care to nurture and regenerate your emotions. Find activities that bring you joy and help you reduce stress. Maybe you want to take time to write down all these activities and think about how you can build a habit with an activity that is particularly good for you and that you would like to do more often. For more habit building tips, check out this blog post.

Positive self-talk:
Practice positive self-talk to influence your thought patterns and develop a more optimistic attitude. To do this, actively practice turning negative sentences into positive ones. You can find out how this can be achieved in this blog post.

Seek support:
If you have trouble regulating your emotions, don't be afraid to seek professional support from a therapist or counselor. They can help you develop healthier coping strategies and boost your emotional health.

By practicing these techniques, you can healthily regulate your emotions and achieve more positive emotional wellbeing.

conclusion
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Emotions are a valuable part of being human and play a crucial role in our lives. They enable us to understand our experiences, express our needs, and build social connections. However, suppressing emotions can lead to psychological and physical stress. By valuing and acting out and regulating our emotions appropriately, we can achieve more positive emotional wellbeing and healthier mental health. This can be achieved through mindfulness, emotional self-reflection, the development of emotional intelligence, the use of healthy coping mechanisms, open communication, and self-care.

This blog post was written using ChatGPT.

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testimonials

Kross, E. (n.d.). How to regulate your emotions without suppressing them. Greater Good Science Center, University of California, Berkeley.https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_regulate_your_emotions_without_suppressing_them

PsychMechanics. (n.d.). Emotional Suppression: Causes and Consequences. PsychMechanics.https://www.psychmechanics.com/effects-of-suppressing-your-emotions/

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